It is common to hear people say, “if I was with that guy, I will be happy”. Why? Because the person exuded happiness. “If I was married to that woman, I will be happy”. Dude, your happiness does not come from another human being. Its like cold water saying to the fire, “If I am with you, we will all be on fire”. That’s not true. Deal with your cold love or lack of love before joining someone else as a life partner!
The world has bought this disturbing idea that happiness is found in another person’s body! The Hollywood way of happy ever after! This is a deception and a lie. Any unhealthy activity around there is an addiction that develops from a bigger need of acceptance and an unconditional love in your soul. In other words loneliness.
That hole of love that brings peace in our souls cannot be filled with what our physical world offers through the flesh! If you think it can, then you are under a deception.
Some obvious symptoms that come with this problem is an excessive need for food, sex, living in pride, the need to show off, excessive personal edification, drinking excessively, abusing substances, going for anything that pleases the eye to calm or stroke your sensory system!
In a causal talk, someone told me that they are addicted to love. I was like “What?” He meant casual sex with random women! I said nop! That’s lust! A heated argument ensued, but that’s story for another day!
Lust is a need through our flesh for a stimulation by a sensory activity in an attempt to spark a feel-good glow in our soul. It comes from lack of a source of true love.
In order to achieve that stage where you can receive and give love, you need to deal with the root cause. Follow my discussion below.
The hunger for joy which comes as a need for true love and intimacy, is spiritual. This is a human condition that can only be satisfied by God alone. The problem is that, humans are rebellious to the only source of true joy. That is the love that flows from God.
God is loving and patient. He does not give up on us. He waits for us, hoping that one day, we will realize our mistake and seek the flow of his love.
Those of us who are parents, know the pain of unprovoked rejection from your own child. No person worthy of the label “parent” does not love their own child. Therefore, when a child disowns you in writing or to your face, it hurts badly.
As a parent you don’t curse your kid when this happens, you could, but you continue loving them and praying for them. You also hope and pray that one day, the child will realize their mistake and come back to you.
The story of the prodigal son is a touching example of the love of a parent. This is the kind of love that God has for each one of us.
Luke 15:20 (NIV) So he got up and went to his father.“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
Like the prodigal son, man has always sought for joy, love and intimacy outside God’s provision!
When we place our hope for love from a human being’s body or heart, we are making a grave mistake. Human nature is susceptible to evil and therefore make humans generally not good.
Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT)..The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?
Jesus was one time called a good teacher but He shot back at the person and said that nobody is good but God alone. Jesus did not even equate Himself with God at this point. He was human and he knew that human hearts are deceitful.
Jesus knows that there is nothing good that can come from a human heart unless its from a good relationship with God.
Mark 10:17-18 (NLT) As Jesus was starting out on his way to Jerusalem, a man came running up to him, knelt down, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked. “Only God is truly good.
This is not a surprise, for the natural man is a playground to all types of unclean spirits. Unclean spirits are sad characters that torture the world’s population mercilessly. The unclean spirits are persons without bodies roaming the earth or living inside the physical bodies of people. Sorrow and need for love is one of the many signs that a human is a home to some of these sad characters. They change the good innocent personality of people from that of a childlike love, confidence and happiness to that of a needy and clingy nature.
When do they enter our bodies? Just like they did with Adam and Eve, this is when we reach a stage of knowing good and evil. In our case, the innocence disappears at a certain age when our mental capacity which is mostly around twelve years from birth, become accountable for what we do! Then the devil gets legal rights behind the scene (Luke 22:31(NIV) …Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat… ) to plant unclean spirits inside you through your lifestyle. This can be avoided by living right with God. Please note that the devil is an accuser and can only attack someone when there is a legal reason like say pride, intentional sin, failing to forgive others or hate to mention but a few. So he gets permission from God to plant a spirit in someone or attack you in any way. Why does God allow it? Because He is loving and wants you to learn from it. In the process of learning you suffer but if you repent and don’t repeat it, you save your soul and experience peace and happiness.
When seeking love to fill the void inside us, its easy to think that romantic love is the answer. You’ve heard people say that online dating is full of psychological cases. This is true to some extent, it has lots of desperate persons driven by hunger for intimacy with other humans. The depression, stress and loneliness associated with some of these cases come from demons living in people.
How do you expect to get love from someone who is surely a habitat of evil spiritual beings that represent nothing good but only the opposite of love?
Ephesians 6:12 (NLT) For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against persons without bodies….
I get scared of thinking that one time I blindly pursued intimacy with persons who were homes to all sorts of unclean spirits. This was mainly because of ignorance, being stupid and demonized myself.
If you are not demonized and are happy and loving, extremely sad intimacy-seeking demagogues will be attracted to you like hawks to a piece of meat. Don’t be deceived by their good looks or plastic smiles that cover depression. These people have a living hell brewing inside of them. They are the saddest people on the planet. They carry with them all sorts of demons; anger, jealousy, unfaithfulness, hate, criticism, idolatry and many others. These people are sometimes identified as people with a clingy personality. They are clingy because they are trying to hold onto you to escape the hell in their lives. Married or not married, such people will coax you for sex at the earliest opportunity because its one way of calming the demons at war inside them.
Do you think such people can be faithful to you? Faithfulness is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22) but such people have none of that because they have unclean spirits living in them.
God does not want you to get into problems by being in a network of such people. He wants to develop a lasting intimacy with you so that you can be sober enough to develop a godly loving relationships with genuine humans.
In order to do this, you need to cut off your intimacy with the love tools that the physical world can offer. Stop any flirting with lust because lust is a form of idolatry. Lust tries to fill the same hole that needs to be filled by God’s intimacy with us!
Just like a loving parent, God is jealous of the type of bonding that you form with other things other than Him. Why? He is a loving Father (and Mother, He has both parental qualities) and He knows that whatever you do leads to no good but destruction. He would wish that His relationship with you is the strongest and its the only source of your strength.
There are two reasons that should persuade you to ditch all your other love pursuits for God’s love.
One, hunger for intimacy is spiritual and our only hope on lasting love is the Holy Spirit.
Lasting love cannot come through material things, parents, wife, children, girlfriend, boyfriend or even online dating!
Romans 5:5 (NLT) And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Two, flirting with the world is flirting with unclean spirits through people and they will never give you love.
James 4:4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
1 John 4:16 (NIV) And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them
God is love so when we seek him, we get love that is dependable and not exhaustible.
When two persons meet with this source of love, they will never be tired of loving each other because the source is assured.
John 15:9 (ESV) As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love…
If you are single and seeking intimacy with someone ask yourself the following questions first.
Do you have a lasting love and intimacy with God or are you seeking happiness from this person?
Do you think you can build a relationship with a random person who has no love and intimacy with God?
Does such a person have the love of God in them or are they a sad case and a bag of unclean spirits seeking random intimacy with you to reduce their sorrows?
If they have no genuine intimacy with God and are seeking this love from you, then what will happen when you can’t give them that much love that such people usually need? Will you not be tired? Will they hate you? Will they not turn against you and make you the problem? Will it not lead to a blame game about a problem you didn’t have in the first place.
If you are the one seeking intimacy at all costs, then make sure your first love is with your creator. Be clingy to God not to another human. God’s love is vast and you can’t exhaust it. So once you connect to it your condition will disappear overnight.
Please don’t be foolish or stupid ask yourself these questions before you tie your soul to anyone!
[Article Author: Joseph GM]