Many single people will agree with me that there are several forces inside their bodies that beg them to engage in casual intimacies. They may find themselves daydreaming with pleasures of the flesh! They are unable to practice self-control or they have a constant need for a “romance” (you could call it lust) with a visually desirable person.
1 Corinthians 7:9 (NLT) But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
If the need for casual intimacies persist while one is in an intimate relationship, otherwise called marriage, then you are dealing with a demon spirit of lust living in you. The only option you have is to seek deliverance by resisting this spirit!
James 4:7(NIV)…Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
If you choose not to be persistent in resisting lust, experience shows that you will reap along the way a heap of curses over your body and marriage! Curses will be manifested (among others) as catching curable or incurable diseases, unhappiness in marriage, separation, divorce, lack of true joy, lack of real peace, grumpiness, and depression. Remember that some of these curses won’t go away with medication unless you seek deliverance and forgiveness! It is also reassuring to know that some of the incurable infirmities can heal when one sincerely repents their sins!
If you don’t have a wife or husband, please save yourself a life of sorrows by getting delivered before you seek a relationship! It is only then that you will be able to attract a suitable person as a life partner! Remember that a suitable person to you may not necessarily be the one everybody praises or approves. God looks at the heart. Let Him lead you to your soulmate!
If you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, then you are practically married!
You don’t have to doubt that or call that person a partner! Are you partners of crime? That person is your wife or your husband!
Humans have redefined marriage with devastating consequences!
Communities have come up with over-hyped traditions leading to the marriage status. Several proven motivations play part in this. One, it is a subtle way of controlling the couple involved. Two, it is source of material gain by those controlling the process. Three, it is another forum for family show off or personal edification!
Religious or cultural traditions surrounding marriage may look harmless but they deny the couple a chance of a quick, quiet and peaceful marriage union. Unless they learn the truth, they are caught up in these unnecessary cycle of warped human traditions.
John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NIV
Humans who want to marry are frustrated by heavy burdens put on their shoulder that complicate and confuse the simple act of getting married!
Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” NIV
Some people are made to wait and even told not to see each other until the marriage ceremony. Meanwhile, they could engage in casual affair with other people and nobody cares. The community ignores this, by turning a blind eye because to them, it is not about upholding purity but it is about traditions. Then after the community timetable is approved, everybody shows up to ” celebrate” the unfortunate couple. They now expect the vows and the presence of the priest to make this couple and the marriage holy!
Marriage is not made holy by a ceremony or by the priest officiating it, but by the people involved to honour God by being faithful and committing their bodies to each other! It should be the choice of the couple to wait or not, plan when to marry, or decide who to involve. Everybody else is a stranger in their relationship! The commitment moment can be between the two persons involved or it could be done according to what the immediate cultural environment of the day dictates. Remember that this is optional and has no spiritual value.
Marriage is supposed to be simple, where a woman and a man decide on their own to live together. It doesn’t need a priest or a bishop to officiate. Get me well, I don’t mean that marriage is not a serious thing, no, it’s as serious as birth and death. The commitment is big and needs divine guidance but the act of attaining marriage status between two people is simple.
As scary or alarming as it sounds, the act that seals a marriage is just having sex! Which means that we could easily get spiritually married to other people without knowing. This is because the real and binding definition of marriage has been removed from what it is, a sexual encounter. People need to be careful not to think of or have sex with anyone in their lives. If they are single, to wait until they meet that one person they will live with for the rest of their lives.
What is important is the fact that you should have your own wife or husband?
1 Corinthians 7:2. …each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (ESV). Meaning that there are no third parties allowed in the union, just the two of you till death! So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mathew 19:6 NIV
Allow me to revisit and explore further the act of getting married!
What is marriage?
The scriptures say that two bodies become a couple in the spiritual world when they have sex with or without a commitment to each other. Which means that a single sexual encounter with another human makes that person your wife or husband.
Therefore, random sex gives you ungodly spiritual ties to several people something that should never happen. That’s why the practice is sin and an abomination! It is a curse to a human body (1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body). Signs of these curses as mentioned earlier, are among many others, sexually transmitted infections, premature ageing and death of the body!
We find the clues on what signs-up a marriage in the following scriptures. The act could be accidental, brief or hidden but it qualifies you as married to that person!
1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
What if the two people have sex and don’t start living together as husband and wife? Then it becomes a sin of sexual immorality or fornication depending on their current marital status. When you sleep with someone, that person becomes your wife or husband. If you don’t accept that then you are under sin!
The spiritual act of marriage in 1 Corinthians 6:16 is quoted exactly the same way in several scriptures. Ephesians 5:31 , Genesis 2:24, Mathew 19:5
… a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh…
Before you fool around, you should be ready to live with that person as married couple. Otherwise, repent and stop having sex with anyone until you are sure that you want to live with that person for the rest of your life!
1 Corinthians 7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. NIV
If marriage was left as easy as it is in the bible then it will be easy to get your own wife and husband. Otherwise to get a wife or husband, the preparation is mind boggling. The number of people you need to involve is unbelievable. The pastors, the community, relatives, friends and enemies want to have a say in it. All for the purposes of control. It sounds ridiculous if you think about it.
It’s also laughable that you ought to get community consent or advice from persons who are themselves fornicators, sexually immoral or those that are sold to the popular appeal of traditional religious demagogues!
Lets not complicate the act of marriage. This is making many people engage in secret casual affairs believing that they can’t achieve a marriage status! Marriage must not be made a high bar to achieve.
If you wish to get married, go ahead and do it, commit to each other before God. It could be in your house, in church, on the road side, in a restaurant or anywhere you are! Since you are surrounded by a number of witnesses in the spiritual world, you should do it in sincerity and truth. In an ideal case, human witnesses at your commitment are not necessary unless for the purposes of the government paperwork.
1 Corinthians 7:9(NIV) …for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Let’s conclude by looking at the following marriage myths.
1. A priest is needed to perform a marriage ceremony. This is purely a religious practice that has no spiritual support or value. It’s a way of hoodwinking onlookers into believing that the relationship was holy or the persons involved practice holiness!
2. A set of marriage vows is what seals a marriage. Marriage vows are good and should come before the marriage is sealed. What seals a marriage is the sexual act not the vows.
3. There must be a wedding ceremony. Partying is not sin, but it has no spiritual meaning and can be a waste of time.
4. You need to follow the traditions of your people. Human traditions were created by man to control others. Things like gifts and dowry are for monetary gain! You can use traditional ceremony for public commitment but this is completely irrelevant and a waste of time!
5. You can have a sexual relationship with another person while still claiming that the person is not your husband or wife. This is a deception and is an act of sexual immorality. You should never sleep with anyone if you don’t want to acknowledge that you are practically married to that person.
[Article Author: Joseph GM]