Are you single or married? If you don’t have a wife or husband, please save yourself a life of misery by getting delivered before you seek a relationship! Sow holiness and faithfulness in your life first! It is only then that you will be blessed with a suitable person as a life partner!
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. (Galatians 6:7 NIV).
If you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, then you are practically married! You don’t have to doubt that or call that person a partner! Are you partners in crime?
Getting married has not been that complicated! Even in the Holy Scriptures, the act was simple but today it is nothing less that having a funfair at your backyard! Humans have redefined marriage with devastating consequences!
Communities around the world have come up with over-hyped traditions that are carried out foolishly, as a means to attaining the marriage status. Several motivations may have fuelled the evolution of these practices. One, it was a subtle way of controlling the couple involved. Two, it has been a source of financial gain by those controlling the process, and three, it is has become another forum for family show off or for personal edification!
Religious or cultural traditions surrounding marriages may look harmless and legitimate, but they deny a potential couple the real truth leading to marriage. Unless they learn the truth, they are caught up in these unnecessary cycle of warped human traditions.
John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NIV
Humans who want to marry are frustrated by heavy burdens put on their shoulder to complicate and confuse the simple act of getting a wife or husband.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” NIV
In some cultures, people are made to wait and even told not to see each other until the day of the marriage ceremony. Meanwhile, they could engage in secret casual affairs with each other or with other people. The community turns a blind eye to the behaviour, because to them, it is not about upholding purity, or the will of God, but it is about following the tradition! Once the community timetable is approved, everybody shows up to ” celebrate” the unfortunate couple. They now expect vows and the presence of a priest to make this couple and their marriage holy!
Marriage is not made holy by a ceremony or the priest officiating it, but by the people involved who choose to honour God with their bodies by being faithful and committing themselves to each other! It should be the choice of the couple to wait or not, plan when to marry, or decide who to involve. Everybody else is a stranger in their relationship! The commitment moment can be between the two persons involved only or it could be done according to what the immediate cultural environment of the day dictates. Remember that this is optional and has no scriptural support or spiritual value.
Marriage is supposed to be simple, where a woman and a man decide on their own to live together. It doesn’t need a priest or a bishop to approve. Get me well, I don’t mean that marriage is not a serious thing, no, it’s as serious as birth and death. The path leading to the right person before the commitment is big and needs divine guidance. However, but the act of attaining a marriage status between two people is simple.
As scary or alarming as it may sound, what seals a marriage is just having sex!
This implies that we could easily be spiritually married to many people without knowing.
Over the years, the real and binding definition of marriage has been removed from what it is, a sexual encounter. People need to be careful not to think of or have sex with anyone in their lives, but to wait until they meet that one person they will live with for the rest of their lives.
What is important is the fact that you should have your own wife or husband!
1 Corinthians 7:2. …each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (ESV). Meaning that there are no third parties allowed in the union, just the two of you till death! So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mathew 19:6 NIV
Allow me to revisit and explore further the act of getting married!
What is marriage?
The scriptures say that two bodies become a couple in the spiritual world when they have sex with or without a commitment to each other. Which means that a single sexual encounter with another human makes that person your wife or husband.
Therefore, random sex gives you ungodly spiritual ties to several people something that should never happen. That is why the practice is sin and an abomination! It is a curse to the human body (1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body). Signs of these curses as mentioned elsewhere, are among many others, sexually transmitted infections, premature ageing and death of the body!
We find clues on what signs-up a marriage in the following scriptures. The act could be accidental, brief or hidden but it a seal of marriage to that person!
1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
What if the two people have sex and don’t start living together as husband and wife? Then the act becomes a sin of sexual immorality or fornication depending on their current marital status. When you sleep with someone, that person becomes your wife or husband. If you don’t accept that then you are demonised and delusional!
The spiritual act of marriage in 1 Corinthians 6:16 is quoted exactly the same way in several other scriptures. Ephesians 5:31 , Genesis 2:24, and Mathew 19:5
… a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh…
Before you fool around, you should be ready to live with that person as a married couple. Otherwise, repent and stop having sex with anyone until you are sure that you want to live with that person for the rest of your life!
1 Corinthians 7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. NIV
If marriage was left as easy as it is, then it will be easy to get your own wife and husband. Otherwise to get a wife or husband, the immediate social activities are mind-boggling. The number of people you need to involve is unbelievable. The pastors, the community, relatives, friends and enemies want to have a say. It sounds ridiculous if you think about it.
It is also laughable that you ought to get a community consent or advice from persons who are themselves fornicators, sexually immoral or those that are sold to the popular appeal of traditions imposed by unending line of religious or cultural demagogues!
Lets not complicate the act of marriage. This is making many people engage in secret casual affairs believing that they can’t achieve a marriage status! Marriage must not be made a high bar to achieve.
If you wish to get married, go ahead and do it, quietly commit to each other before God. It could be in your house, in church, on the road side, on a tree, at the beach, in a restaurant or anywhere you are! Since you are surrounded by a number of witnesses in the spiritual world, you should do it in sincerity and truth. In an ideal case, human witnesses at your commitment are not necessary unless for the purposes of the government paperwork.
It is my sincere hope that you have been blessed by the content of this article! But before you go, let’s do some myth-bursting on marriages!
1. A priest is needed to perform a marriage ceremony. This is a myth. It is purely a religious practice that is not supported by the scriptures and has no spiritual benefit or value. It is most likely used to hoodwink onlookers into believing that the relationship was holy or the persons involved practice holiness!
2. A set of marriage vows is what seals a marriage. This is another myth! Marriage vows are good and should come before the marriage is sealed, but what seals a marriage is the sexual act not the vows.
3. There must be a wedding ceremony. A myth! Partying is not sin, but it has no spiritual meaning and can be a waste of time.
4. You need to follow the traditions of your people. This is a tricky myth! Human traditions were created by man to control others. Things like gifts and dowry are for monetary gain! You can use traditional ceremony for public commitment but this is completely irrelevant and a waste of time!
5. You can have a sexual relationship with another person while still claiming that the person is not your husband or wife. This is a deception and is an act of sexual immorality. You should never sleep with anyone if you don’t want to acknowledge that you are practically married to that person.
6. Unfaithfulness will cease once we get married. A myth! Faithfulness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Without Him one is like a bandit and can’t be trusted with holiness, but can sin sexually when an opportunity presents itself! This how you know that someone is operating under a different spirit! However, there are many Christians who are not prone to being unfaithful but have conditions that can easily lead to sin like burning with passion for intimacy, a soulmate or a companion! Such can be managed by getting a wife or husband, and if you are already married, working on your relationship!
[Article Author: Joseph GM]