One of the many human traditions that is over-hyped in our communities today is achieving the marriage status.
According to my experience, there are several reasons for this. One, it is a subtle way of controlling the couple involved. Two, it is a source of money or material gain by those controlling the process.
Marriage “approval process” has been institutionalized by both the community and by the government as a payable service.
The losers in this case, are the people who want to get peacefully married to each other. Unless they learn the truth, they are caught up in these unnecessary cycle of warped human traditions.
Someone shared with me about a pastor’s son who could not even worship in his father’s church because he had chosen to live with a woman as a couple. He did this before involving his community in the ceremonial marriage process. His dad was furious. They were branded as sexually immoral.
You and I may agree and say yes, they sinned. The couple also believed that they sinned because they defied their religious community including their parents!
This man had taken a wife and consummated his marriage. He was unable to wait. 1 Corinthians 7:9 (NLT) But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
The action brought him wrath from a religious mob led by his own father and not because he had started being involved in random sexual acts with other women, no, but because he snubbed their tradition when he committed to the lady as a husband! I can imagine that these people were saying in their hearts “we didn’t approve” as if it was their duty to do that!
The whole saga made this poor couple live like fugitives in their own community. Surprisingly, a close look at the scripture exonerates them. How? Follow my narrative below.
Jesus says in John 8:32 …”Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” NIV
In Matthew 11:30 He said “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” NIV
Humans who want to marry are frustrated by heavy burdens put on their shoulder to complicate and confuse the simple act of getting married! They are made to wait and wait. Meanwhile, they engage in random sex with other people. The community ignores this, by turning a blind eye to the whole drama. Then after the community timetable is approved, everybody shows up to ” celebrate” the unfaithful couple. They now expect the vows and the presence of the priest to make this couple’s marriage holy or work!
Marriage is not made holy by a ceremony or by the priest officiating it, but by the couple for being faithful and committed to each other! It should be the choice of the couple to wait, plan when to marry and who to involve. Everybody else is a stranger in that relationship! The commitment moment can be between the two persons involved or it could be done according to what the immediate cultural environment of the day dictates. Remember that this is optional and has no spiritual value.
Marriage is supposed to be simple, where a woman and a man comes together and commits to each other. It doesn’t need a priest or a bishop to officiate. Get me well, I don’t mean that marriage is not a serious thing, no, it’s as serious as birth and death.
The commitment is big and needs divine guidance but the act of attaining marriage status between two people is simple, it’s just having sex. That’s why people need to be careful not to have sex with anyone in their lives until they meet that one person they will live with for the rest of their lives.
What is important is the fact that you should have your own wife or husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2. …each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (ESV). Meaning that there are no third parties allowed in the union, just the two of you till death! So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mathew 19:6 NIV
Two bodies become a couple in the spiritual world by a simple act of having sex with or without a commitment to each other. All us should be aware that a single sex contact with another human makes that person your wife or husband. Therefore, random sex make you have ungodly spiritual ties to several people and this should never happen. That’s why the practice is sin and an abomination! It is a curse to a human body (1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body). Signs of these curses come as sexually transmitted infections, premature ageing and death of the body!
We find the clues to the spiritual act of marriage in the following scriptures.
1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
The spiritual act of marriage is quoted exactly the same way in several scriptures. Ephesians 5:31 , Genesis 2:24, Mathew 19:5
… a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh…
Some of the reasons sexual immorality is common among the young is because marriage has been made as a high bar to achieve. So they sleep with the easiest person near them!
1 Corinthians 7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. NIV
If marriage was left as easy as it is in the bible then it will be easy to get your own wife and husband. Otherwise to get a wife or husband, the preparation is mind boggling. The number of people you need to involve is unbelievable. The pastors, the Community, relatives, friends and enemies want to have a say in it. All for the purposes of control. It sounds ridiculous if you think about it.
It’s also laughable that you ought to get community consent or advice from persons who are themselves fornicators or sexually immoral!
Lets not complicate the act of marriage. If you wish to get married, go ahead and do it, commit to each other before God. It could be in your house, in church, on the road side, in a restaurant or anywhere you are!
1 Corinthians 7:9(NIV) …for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Let’s conclude with the following marriage myths.
1. A priest is needed to perform a marriage ceremony. This purely a religious practice that has no spiritual support or value. It’s a way of hoodwinking onlookers into believing that the relationship was holy or the persons involved practice holiness!
2. There must be a wedding ceremony. Partying is not sin, but it has no spiritual meaning and can be a waste of time.
3. You need to follow the traditions of your people. Human traditions were created by man to control others. Things like gifts and dowry are for monetary gain! You can use traditional ceremony for public commitment but this is completely irrelevant and a waste of time!